2001 Report from Crist
[We got this update from Crist in 2001]
I left Parker in 1969 for the tree-lined suburb of Evanston. Any rumors to the contrary are completely baseless. Suburbia was a shock to my system, but I adjusted to a life without Morning Ex, Chorus, and Barr McCutcheon. Classmates at Evanston High School heard me solving quadratic equations aloud and reciting the squares of numbers up to 30. Luckily, no one called the proper authorities.
After an illustrious year at Coe College, as Student Senator, rabble rouser, and all-around degenerate, I dropped out to “find myself.” I moved back to Lincoln Park, worked odd jobs, got married and divorced, and eventually completed my undergraduate studies at the University of Illinois. I use the word “studies” loosely.
I pondered the meaning of life as a single man in Lincoln Park, but found no answers. What I did find cannot be divulged. Searching for my muse, I left for Boston to manage a newly opened restaurant. It promptly failed, likely due to mismanagement. I moved back to the City of Big Shoulders and Hog Butcher to the World, and worked in mental health for several years. It was hard, messy work, but the patients did not suffer greatly.
I was eventually committed to The Institute for the Perpetually Adolescent (aka, the University of Illinois) for five years. Upon graduation, the faculty awarded me a Ph.D. in Organizational/Social Psychology and asked me not to let the door slam on my way out. I had little desire for real work, so I joined RHR International, a management consulting firm. After eight years, I left to form a small partnership in organizational consulting. Four years later, I formed my own, independent practice.
Judi, my partner of 20 years, and I live in Arlington Heights with Tyler and Abbie, our Golden Retrievers. We tried to enroll them at Parker, but the admissions office was very close-minded. PETA has agreed to assist us in filing a class action lawsuit. We entertain ourselves by learning gourmet cooking, landscaping, and home renovation in true Parker fashion. The early results were not pretty. I am also trying my hand at writing the Great American Novel. Look for it in bookstores. It will make a great holiday gift, sometime around 2015.